"It's
never too late to be what you might have
been," said writer George Eliot
and that's never more true than when you're
in your prime . You've now reached
the stage where you've accomplished much
in your life, had many experiences - good
and bad - and as a result, have accumulated
a considerable weight of insight and knowledge
into the way the world works.
So
the challenge now is to use your wisdom,
insight and knowledge to identify and
address your unfulfilled ambitions and
dreams - and by doing so, become even
more of the person you have always wanted
to be.
'A
leopard can't change its spots,'
you may say. That's absolutely true and
neither should you. After all, you've
been who you are for at least fifty years
now and in a whole number of ways, it
has stood you in good stead. But even
if you wanted to, no one can change that
dramatically, so what we're looking
at here is how to make small and ongoing
changes to the essential you, in order
to ensure you keep developing and growing.
The
starting point for a happy old age
Fundamentally,
change keeps you young. Those fabulous
elderly people who we all admire because
of their infectious enthusiasm, wry humour
and inquisitive minds are like that because
invariably they never stop taking on board
new information and seeking out new experiences
and challenges. What's wrong with being
old if we knew we could be like them?
Of
course, there are no guarantees that you
will experience a long and happy old age
in full control of your mental faculties.
But now's the time when if you put extra
effort into broadening your horizons,
you will improve your chances of that
happening and also, more importantly,
see amazing new opportunities opening
up for you now .
What
does it involve? Well, nothing too difficult
- just a positive mindset that looks for
interesting new experiences and is prepared
to take a few risks. How to go about it?
Well, here are a few pointers to start
you off to a new way of thinking:
Watch
your language
I
think therefore I am . Translate
that into I think I am old, therefore
I am , and you can see the danger
inherent in adopting thoughts and speech
patterns that reflect your feelings that
you're over the hill. Stop it now!
Be
careful of what you say. When talking
to others, don't mention age at all unless
you really have to, and certainly then
if you do, don't refer to yourself as
a fogey, an old git, an old-timer, a golden
oldie, a TOG, or a silver anything.
You
are in your prime . If
you're going to talk about this time of
life at all, put a positive spin on it
and accentuate the huge new opportunities
that open up to us now we have got so
many of life's career and family challenges
out of the way.
Manage
your attitude
Beware
of being negative, angry, uptight and
hostile. Why should you be - this is an
age where there is much to be cheerful
about, with the possibility of shedding
many of life's previous inherent stresses.
Be careful also of ranting, repeating
yourself or just being self-opinionated
and boring. Perhaps you have always been
like this, but at this age, being so is
a serious turn-off.
Victor
Meldrew (One Foot in the Grave) was such
a successful character because he was
so clearly based on reality. So if you
find yourself thinking or sounding like
Victor, stop it immediately! If necessary,
get someone to tape you next time you
start banging on and listen to what you
sound like. Appalling, isn't it?
Whatever
life throws at you, try to react by being
sunny not sour, brave not bitter, and
try laughing rather than lamenting how
bad things are. If you absolutely can't
find it in you to be cheerful (and no
one can be sunny-natured all the time)
then try to keep it to yourself and steer
clear of others for a while until you
feel better. It's all right to have an
'off day' - but try not to inflict it
on others.
Steer
clear of stereotyping
Make
a deliberate effort to keep well away
from anything that marketers think 'over
50s' should buy. That includes comfy slippers,
non-slip bath mats and anything else you
wouldn't have been seen dead in, or with,
when you were in your twenties. Nothing
has changed except the fact that by now
you should be at your most tasteful and
discriminating.
Similarly
anything that is badged 'over 50s' should
be given a wide berth. That includes over
50s holidays, clubs, or entertainment
unless the upper limit is under 70. Otherwise
all you are going to be doing is mixing
with the seriously elderly - in fact,
your parents' generation. You didn't want
to do that when you were in your twenties
either, so why would you want to now?
This
isn't to say you shouldn't have elderly
people as friends - of course you should.
Diversity is the spice of life, but as
part of this approach you should have
younger people as friends also. In fact
anyone who you have things in common with
other than just your age.
Seek
out role models
Who
are the people you admire and would like
to emulate? What do they look like, what
are their attitudes? What do they do,
and how do they do it? What do they continue
to contribute to the world? What do you
and other people think of them?
No
doubt when you were younger you had role
models and people you looked to for inspiration.
It's still appropriate to do so - in fact
you should positively seek them out. Keep
reminders of them about the place - photographs,
quotations, or whatever, just to constantly
remind you that there are still new heights
to reach, new goals to aspire to. Even
if it's just a picture of someone who
looks particularly stylish or elegant
- keep it where you can see it to remind
you of what you should be working
towards.
Keep
an optimistic outlook
Ultimately
the difference between those who are truly
in their prime and those
who aren't, is attitude. Being in
my prime means always looking
forward, not back (although of course
everyone is allowed to reminisce every
now and again).
Remember,
yesterday is gone, and tomorrow we can't
control, so the only time that really
matters is today. Realistically, in
my primers do have fewer years
left, but probably almost as many years
still as your whole working life, so certainly
there's still a good long period of time
to do remarkable things with.
Now's
the time to be innovative not conservative;
adventurous not afraid; expansive rather
than restrictive. Optimism is the order
of the day. Okay, so something might not
work, or it might not turn out quite as
you might have wished or planned. But
ultimately, does it really matter
? Won't it be better to have at least
tried it, rather than never to do it at
all? And, guess what - it might be a huge
success!
Create
a life of interest and challenge
One
of the fundamental laws of life is that
attractiveness attracts . If
you look good, people will want to be
seen with you. If you're interesting,
people will want to listen to you. If
you lead a dynamic life, people will want
to associate with you. If you are a skilful
person, people will want to learn from
you.
What
does this mean? Well, if you concentrate
on developing new interests and skills
that you find rewarding and fascinating,
other people will be drawn towards you.
In this way, almost without trying, you
start to become the sort of person that
you have always respected and
admired.
Plan
ahead
Some
things happen by chance, and certainly
in my prime is a great
time of life for serendipity.
But
you must also plan and design
your own future - however you want to
be. Keep a box, notebook, or scrapbook
and list all the things you want to do
one day perhaps with pictures of places
you want to visit. Write another list
of all the things you love about life
currently and all the things you really
love to do.
.
Look
at it when you hit a brick wall and can't
see the way forward. Use it to remind
yourself of unrealised opportunities,
how much potential you still have, and
how wonderful the world is.
Believe
in yourself and be courageous
Perhaps
at the moment you believe that nothing
will ever change and whatever is currently
wrong with your life will continue forever.
Wrong! There are thousands and thousands
of examples of in my primers who
have taken the initiative and made changes
which have had a huge and happy impact
on their lives. Whether changing jobs,
setting up a business, finding a new partner,
moving abroad, taking up a new hobby -
just changing one thing can activate a
whole avalanche of positive experiences
in your life. But guess what? The only
way you're going to prove whether this
will work for you, is to try it and see.
