Has your get up and go got
up and gone?
Are you tired, frustrated,
anxious and angry?
Do you dread the thought
of each working day, but dread the
weekends too?
Do you feel you ought to
make some changes but are too tired
to know where to start?
Do you worry about everything
even when you know there’s
nothing worth worrying about?
Do you suffer from a myriad
of minor physical ailments that keep
you under par?
Do you regularly eat, drink
or smoke too much?
Do you find yourself not
enjoying things you know you’ve
been looking forward to?
Are you sick of it all?
Sounds like you’re probably suffering
from stress.
According to the media we’re all
up to our eyeballs in stress and heading
for burnout. It’s caused by too
much work or not enough (or
no) work; a hectic lifestyle, or boredom; ‘juggling’ too
much or being too single-minded. In short – ‘stress’ seems
to be caused by pretty much everything!
The
meaning of ‘stress’
This being the case, surely we must
question what exactly we are talking
about when we use the term ‘stress’? Well
according to the dictionary it’s ‘intense ‘emotional,
physical or mental pressure or tension’.
On top of this, the most commonly accepted
definition of stress (mainly attributed
to renowned American psychologist Richard
S Lazarus) is that stress is
a condition or feeling experienced when
a person perceives that demands
on them exceed the personal and social
resources they are able to mobilise.
Our definition is that stress
is the gap between what you do and
how you feel about it. If your daily
activities are causing you to feel
harassed, anxious or frustrated you’re
probably stressed. However, if you
feel relatively relaxed, cheerful and
in control of what you do, there’s
no stress.
As you’re probably aware, levels
of stress can vary enormously between
individuals in the same situation. Very
few events will create identical stress
levels for everyone – which seems
to underline the fact that the condition
known as ‘stress’ usually
results from a combination of different
factors, rather than just one and it’s
that combination that will make the difference.
However, whatever the cause, what stress adds
up to for many is an ongoing feeling
of continuously being crushed between
a rock and a hard place resulting in
an inability to cope, and a poor emotional
state which can be revealed by a variety
of physical symptoms.
So what can we do to overcome it?
Identify
what causes stress
There’s no quick-fix solution,
but the answer lies in focusing on dealing
with your feelings and how you react
to stress, rather than attempting to
master or ‘manage’ it.
Studies have shown that ‘control’ is
perhaps the biggest contributory factor
in stress. As you can see from the above
examples, too much pressure (e.g. a hectic
job) can cause stress, as can having
no job at all. The key lies in the amount
of control that we feel we have over
a situation. Here the link seems to be
fairly straightforward: more control
= less stress.
So part of the answer
to reducing stress must be to gain more
control over your life. Obviously that
can be easier said than done, but for
starters, try these tips:
- Ensure your life has meaning
If you’re on a daily
treadmill with no idea of the bigger
picture, it’s no wonder you’re
stressed. It’s all too easy
just to push on doing what you’ve
always done, without taking time out
to ask why, and question whether there
might not be a better way. Replacing
mere routine with a definite sense
of purpose will give you energy and
enthusiasm. If you feel you haven’t
got one, maybe it’s time you
thought through what your vision of
a perfect life would be.
- Understand that you do have
choices. We all have commitments,
but ultimately we chose to have them
and we can choose whether or not to
change things. Making fundamental
changes might be scary but it can
be done. Very little is impossible,
though some changes are not as straightforward
as you might wish.
- Stop wasting time. Increasingly
our lives are under siege from random,
time-wasting activities – mobile
phone calls and texts, emails, rubbish
TV. Cut down their relentless interference
by actively limiting your access to
them (and other people’s access
to you) and replace their mindless
‘noise’ with quiet time
in which to think, reflect and plan,
- Set yourself realistic targets.
Don’t try to prove
you’re Superman (or woman) by
taking on too much. You’ll only
beat yourself up when you struggle
– or fail - to deliver. Tackle
one thing at a time, and devote all
your concentration to that task for
as long as you have set yourself to
complete it. Butterflying from one
thing to another without ever completing
anything is a surefire route to stress
and frustration.
- Stop worrying and let go.
A lot of stress is caused
by the fact that we worry too much
– before, during and after what
we do. Learn to take action or let
go. Worrying contributes nothing at
all. Mostly we worry about things
we can’t control and even worse,
worry about things that never happen.
Let go of the past, live for the present
and by all means plan
for the future, just don’t worry
about it.
- Learn to say ‘no’.
There’s a fine line
between being regarded as diligent,
conscientious and helpful and being
known as a push-over. Which side of
the line are you? Oddly enough, those
‘lucky’, carefree, stress-free
people who seem to breeze through
life are often like that because they’re
very good at conserving their energies
for those things they’re good
at and actively want to do. As a result
they’re rarely stressed
by over-commitment.
- Develop a positive attitude.
Ultimately how you feel is
pretty much a result of the attitude
you choose to adopt. You can decide
to be positive, optimistic and unfazed
by the demands of others, or you can
choose to be negative, pessimistic,
angry and resentful. No one has the
right to say you have to be positive
but it’s amazing how much seems
to go right and how much more cooperative
and supportive people seem to be towards
you, if you’re consciously cheerful
and resilient.
- Make time to do things you
enjoy. Often when we’re
stressed, it seems that there’s
hardly enough time for life’s
essentials, let alone having time
for activities that would positively
cause us enjoyment. However, creating
a balanced lifestyle is key to maintaining
an ability to cope. The majority of
world leaders and entrepreneurs all
take time to ensure that they regularly
have some time to relax and enjoy
themselves – whether with their
families, playing sport, or just sitting
quietly with a drink.
- Stop doing and
start being. Most
of the time our thoughts are completely
tangled up in the tasks we’re
facing, which prevents us from seeing
the bigger picture. So every now and
again throughout the day, consciously
stop what you’re doing, and
let your mind go blank. Breathe deeply
several times. Now think of something
uplifting and just concentrate on
that and nothing else for five minutes.
It’s the greatest stress-buster
known – you can do it anywhere
and it’s free.
- Look after yourself physically. Stress
and physical ailments are intrinsically
linked and it’s all too easy
to find yourself in a vicious circle
you can’t get out of when it
comes to trying to decide whether your
stress is causing your headaches, indigestion,
insomnia etc, or vice versa. Although
it may be difficult to ‘cure’ physical
symptoms immediately, eating properly,
getting enough sleep, taking regular
exercise and avoiding heavy drinking
or smoking will help alleviate the
symptoms and improve your ability
to cope.
- Find a new source of
support. As
stress is an emotional condition,
finding someone empathetic to talk
to about it can be hugely beneficial.
Very possibly your partner, family
members, or good friends may be too
close to the situation, but an acquaintance,
colleague, coach, mentor or counsellor
may provide just the arena you need
to talk about how you feel and discuss
ways of improving things.
- Find
something to laugh about every day. Laughter,
as they say, is the best medicine
so consciously seek out something
that will cause you to laugh out
loud every day – whether it’s
a DVD of your favourite comedy series,
a CD of a stand up comedian or a
book of jokes (there are even joke
websites – just enter ‘jokes’ into
Google).
Laughter provides a great sense of release and
nothing’s that bad if you still
have the ability to laugh and see the
funny side of life.
