September 2007: <<< back to Downloads
Pensions: lost or merely forgotten?
Looking nifty at fifty - part 2
Find your family through Lost Cousins
Think again - and fulfil your lifelong ambitions
Holidaying in a home away from home
Much as the media and marketers like to lump us altogether, we in my primers are ultimately as diverse a bunch as any other generation. Something we do have in common however (and I’ve yet to meet anyone in our age group who disagrees with this statement) is that time flies by ever faster every day for all of us. We were once again reminded of this when it occurred to us that a whole year has passed since we issued our first in my prime newsletter. And yes, it seems unbelievable - the time has sped by.
This time last year we highlighted the advent of the UK’s age discrimination legislation, which research has shown has changed employers practices (9 out of 10 employers now say they don’t discriminate on the basis of age according to a recent government survey). However, as journalist and ex-Cosmopolitan editor Marcelle d’Argy Smith remarked in the Daily Mail in an article about why she had lied about her age (she said 61 when she’s 73), “While there may be Age Discrimination legislation, you can’t change people’s perceptions overnight.”
As we’ve so often said before, change in any arena is slow, so in the area of cultural, attitudinal change towards a new generation previously only known as ‘old’, it would be miraculous if it happened overnight. And again we cannot say often enough that it is down to each of us individually to make it happen by being positive, active, optimistic and, to a degree, defiant. As anthropologist Margaret Mead said, “ Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed citizens can change the world. Indeed it is the only thing that ever has.”
According to recent research by Government website Directgov, over half of UK adults have no idea how much money they’ve built up in pension schemes – and one in six people have no details of where their money is saved. The national survey found that one of the main reasons for losing track of pensions is the number of times people change jobs and also that they believe if a pension exists, it is not worth much.
However, people can be pleasantly surprised if they decide to trace previous pensions. Tony Douglas, a 59 year old civil servant from Newcastle, thought his old pension scheme was worthless until he used the pension tracing service via Directgov and discovered it was worth £25,000.
Commenting on the research, Nicolas Owen, BBC News Presenter said: “Your pension is one of the most important financial asset you have, so it’s simply astonishing to hear that so many people are losing track of their money throughout their professional lives. Excuses given range from being disorganised to moving house to thinking they are worthless, but the fact is that this is your future - your retirement, so it is vital that your track these funds down. It is estimated that there is a large pot of money out there, so it’s worth going on Directgov to see if you have a share of this sum.”
With access to a database of over 200,000 occupational and personal pension schemes, Directgov's free service can provide contact details for lost pension schemes enabling you to better plan for the future.
by Deborah Turner and Karen MacPhee of Hamlyn Nash Image Consultancy
Last month we reviewed what you should be wearing – and avoiding – to look your best over 50. In this issue we focus on the importance of skincare and grooming for both women and men.Click here to read our previous article.
The media and advertisers are slowly changing their perception of in my primers and leading this field in the beauty industry is Dove. Their latest campaign for the new Pro Age range of products celebrates ageing, challenging the concept that only young is beautiful.
The great news too is that they’re not the only ones, now there are lots of products out there to help us look younger, the anti-ageing market is booming. Whilst many claim to have miraculous results (and it’s always a case of buyer beware!) we do know that smoking and sun are the worst skin ageing factors, so simply by concentrating on avoiding these we can instantly start to reduce the effects of the ageing process. The basic message for both men and women is to always wear a moisturizer with a minimum SPF of 15, regardless of the weather or time of year.
For men this can sometimes be a bit of a chore and something they would never have considered doing in their youth and in part this ties in with the fact that in general, men hitting the 50 mark seem more reluctant to make an effort to look fit and attractive than women. However, predominantly young men but not exclusively this age range, are becoming more aware of how they look and the male grooming industry has grown nearly 900% in the last 5 years.
It seems men worry more about ‘feeling young’ than ‘looking young’. One reason may be because they tend to have a distinct advantage over women in terms of ageing in that their skin, being thicker, is less prone to wrinkling and drooping. Research shows that the average man’s skin does not start aging until 50, considerably later than women’s. So come on guys, make the most of your head start and make sure you look after your good looks for the next fifty years. If the thought of using your partner’s cream is still a little uncomfortable, slip a men’s moisturizer into your trolley next time you do the shopping and if used daily you will soon see the results.
But although women have a slight disadvantage over men in terms of the skin’s ageing process, of course we do have the added advantage of being able to use some great makeup products. We have found with some of our ‘in their prime’ clients that their makeup may need an overhaul. A make-up lesson is a great way to find out the new tricks and treats in the trade and they really are not that expensive (free in most department stores) – go on treat yourself!
If your cosmetics and your application methods are dated, you too will look dated regardless of how much effort has gone into your outfit. A good foundation that matches your skin tone is key – it should not change the colour of your skin and with today’s technology they also have many other benefits including lifting and firming if necessary!
Good grooming is a key point for both men and women over 50. It is about looking after yourself, being a little pampered and paying attention to detail, e.g. nails, eyebrows, facial hair for men etc. An aspect of grooming that we get a lot of questions about is hair. Again, it is really about how it makes you feel. Your hair frames your face. Although many of us worry about specific problem areas on our body, the area most people look at is our face. Hence the importance of a good skin care routine and for women, and well applied makeup surrounded by our ‘crowning glory’.
When it comes to hair, women shouldn’t feel pressured into going short because convention says you should. It is more about ensuring that your hair is in fantastic condition and receives regular, excellent maintenance. Colour too is a matter of choice although best kept to natural palettes - and if you decide to show your grey have an up-to-date cut. Of course, for men the salt and pepper look has always been and is likely to remain very popular – approach the dye bottle with extreme caution!
This is a great time of life to celebrate who you are and to make the most of your good points. The 50+ market is the fastest growing demographic and is increasingly being recognised by marketers and retailers as a dream market. So make the most of the choice out there, exude confidence and feel great about how you look. They used to say ‘grow old gracefully’, but today 50+ is the trendy place to be!
Deborah Turner and Karen MacPhee are the founders of Hamlyn Nash Image Consultancy specialists in providing advice on to women and men in the South East. Deborah and Karen are two of the most engaging women you’ll meet, passionate about what they are doing, articulate, informed and great fun” - Sarah Sturt, Editor of Kent Life.
If you're still working or are an employer, you may be interested in our article about training provision for the over 50s which appears in this month's Training Journal:
We’ve heard a lot about Age Discrimination legislation but it’s small beer compared to the real problem concerning age and the workplace. It’s writ large for all to see and the demographic figures are stark and unchangeable, but for some reason the realisation is slow. There aren’t - and increasingly won’t be - enough skilled young workers to go round so we’re going to have to keep and make better use of the older ones for longer.
How can this be when it seemed only a short while ago that early retirement was the pattern with cheery predictions that in the future no one would work past 50? Well, the situation has arisen for a number of reasons: the UK birthrate has long been declining, longevity has increased dramatically over the past couple of generations, and our training provision has failed to keep pace with economic need. To quote Lord Leitch(1), “Our nation’s skills are not world class and we run the risk that this will undermine the UK’s long-term prosperity”.
For the first time in 2006 there were more 55-64 year olds than 16-24 year olds in the UK (2) with predictions that from 2010 onwards the number of young people reaching working age will begin to fall by 60,000 every year. Combine this with forecasts showing that for the next decade the UK will need over two million new entrants to the workforce, and it’s evident that in large part the demand will have to be met through most adults working longer, or returning to the workforce post-retirement.
What this means is that whatever your sector, size, or nature of business you need, as a matter of priority, to address the following issues: more>>>
We were delighted to be contacted recently by Peter Calver, a great example of an in my prime entrepreneur who three years ago established what is now one of the UK’s leading websites for people researching their family history.
Peter’s lifelong interest in tracing his own family tree turned into a business when he had trouble finding job following the sale of his original software business. Now LostCousins has over 50,000 members and has introduced thousands of people to their living relatives, sometimes in the next street, sometimes on the other side of the world.
The company’s name, ‘Lost Cousins' is based on the term they felt was most appropriate for any relative with whom you are not currently in contact, either because you’ve lost touch over the years, or because you never knew they existed. They could be second cousins, third cousins, or even more distant. And as we all typically share our great-great-great grandparents with over 500 other people, if you go back another generation we all have literally thousands of cousins!
If you're currently researching your family history or interested in doing so, Peter's site makes it easy to contact people who share the same ancestors. And it comes recommended by those in the know: “I’m very impressed by the LostCousins site”, says Dr Nick Barrett, best known for his research into the ten celebrities featured in the popular BBC2 series Who Do You Think You Are?. “It's a really simple way to find people researching the same families.”
Click here to see more about Peter’s story in our Prime Examples section.
Stannah Stairlifts is asking you to ‘Think Again’ about your dreams and not assume that just because you're getting older you can’t do something you’ve always wanted to. Since its launch earlier this year, their ‘Think Again Fund’ has had entries flooding in from around the country but you still have until December this year if you’d like to apply.
Stannah created the initiative to help older people realise their dreams and are encouraging anyone over 50 to apply for money to pursue an activity, skill or experience that has previously escaped them. The application form can be obtained by calling 020 7360 7825 or downloaded from www.stannahstairlifts.co.uk.
The latest winner is 71 year old Michael Hartley from Kendal who although registered blind is a fully fledged adrenaline junkie. He was beginning to fear that his more exciting ambitions would never be realised due to his disability but Stannah were inspired by Michael’s zest for life and were eager to help him with his dream of rock climbing and abseiling. In July, Michael, accompanied by an instructor, spent an entire day climbing treacherous mountainsides in Cumbria, and abseiling down awesome rock faces.
One person each month will be selected to receive a portion of the fund to put towards fulfilling their dreams. So, if you have always wanted to achieve something but just didn’t know how, download an application form now and let them know what you want to do and why. After all, someone has to win and it could be you!
This month we’re pleased to be featuring an article from Lois Sealey, founder of Home Base Holidays another successful in my prime entrepreneur who knows all there is to know about home exchanging:
Although home exchanges have been taking place all over the world for at least fifty years, the advent of the internet has made the process so much easier. Finding a suitable swap and then making the most of exchange arrangements has undoubtedly become quicker and cheaper by email, with the added facility of being able to email photos and directions and to use the web to research the locality in detail.
Swapping homes is a great way to get to know a new area or country, living like a local and often discovering little known attractions from your exchange partner's friends and neighbours. Although the initial reason for considering a home exchange may be cost savings, convenience and the fun of living in a real home come close behind. New friendships can also be a pleasant lasting bonus.
Families with young children, mindful of all the paraphernalia that they entail and the need to adhere to basic routines, appreciate the convenience of being able to travel comparatively light to what is a real home away from home. But the fastest growing group of home swappers is older couples and singles.
The over 50s, often with more flexibility in terms of dates and length of exchange than families tied by school or work holiday periods, have the broadest choice of exchange possibilities. Many prefer to exchange with others in similar circumstances, that is, avoiding families with young children if their homes are not geared to their needs. Others like to travel with grown children and grandchildren and a larger home with plenty of space invariably appeals more than cramped hotel rooms or basic holiday rental apartments.
Traditionally, home exchanges have been equated with overseas travel but in recent years a new growth area - home swaps within the UK even for weekend, or short breaks – has emerged These are often hotly pursued by over 50s keen for new experiences and attracted by off-the-beaten track or city centre locations where it can be difficult to find high quality, comfortable, yet affordable hotel rooms. more>>>
Click here to read more about Lois' background in our Prime Examples section.
As regular readers and visitors to our site will be aware, we are strong advocates for change. We believe that our ability to enjoy these, the best years of our lives, is closely linked to our ability to change ourselves and our situation and constantly work towards becoming more of the person we’ve always wanted to be. Change is hard for anyone, particularly at this age, when decades of living mean our attitudes and behaviour (those things about us which can be changed) are probably deeply ingrained.
So we’re interested in anything which might help anyone, in any way, to make the process easier. One process which has always generated controversy and about which until now, we must admit we knew very little, is hypnosis and hypnotherapy. Our attention was drawn to it by one of our Midlands' readers who recently contacted us to tell us about her experiences having undergone her first session of hypnotherapy in an attempt to make progress in a lifelong battle with weight loss.
"As well as being pleasant and relaxing at the time, I feel the session was really beneficial. Like lots of other women with weight problems, I regularly go through patches when I eat healthily and normally and then other periods when I seem to eat and drink everything in sight! However, following the session, I've not only been eating well, but have felt a lot calmer (which was a surprise) with a sense of being more in control and having a choice about what I choose to eat. I'm struggling a bit with the 'self-hypnosis', but hopefully will improve with practice. My therapist said that hypnosis was a great was a wonderful method of redressing the balance in our hectic lives and I'd agree with that. I definitely intend to have another session."
Much of our scepticism about hypnosis comes from its roots in the entertainment industry where we have all laughed at the antics of those who have been subjected to stage hypnotism. But this is far removed from what hypnosis actually is and undermines the vast body of valuable work undertaken by today’s hypnotherapists.
The British Society of Clinical Hypnosis is a national professional body whose aim is to promote and assure high standards in the practice of hypnotherapy and a great source of information about hypnosis and hypnotherapy. They state: Hypnosis is simply a different state of consciousness which you can naturally enter so that, for therapeutic purposes (hypnotherapy), beneficial corrections may be given directly to your unconscious mind. In this way, hypnosis is an effective way of making contact with our inner (unconscious) self, which is both a reservoir of unrecognised potential and knowledge as well as being the unwitting source of many of our problems.
Hypnotherapy is using the state of hypnosis to treat a variety of medical and psychological problems. It is estimated that 85% of people will respond at some level to clinical hypnotherapy. It may even succeed where other more conventional methods of treatment have not produced the desired result. When carried out by a trained and qualified hypnotherapist the benefits can be long lasting and often permanent. It is natural and safe, with no harmful side effects.
Realistically no-one can be hypnotised against their will and even when hypnotised, a person can still reject any suggestion. Thus hypnotherapy is a state of purposeful co-operation. Hypnotherapy is a valuable therapy with which to release past trauma and decondition established habits. Even though our personal unconscious only ever seeks to promote our well being it can often be the seat of faulty learning from our childhood, leading to low self esteem, under achievement and sometimes worse. Often it attempts to protect us by raising our fears and anxieties to phobic levels to keep us from a particular activity or stimulus it sees as dangerous. Utilising hypnosis this way in therapy often facilitates an unconscious relearning process.
Hypnotherapy is medically accepted to benefit the following and more:
- reducing or abolishing unwanted habits such as smoking, nail biting, weight control / healthy eating;
- improving work / study / sporting performance,
- boosting self-confidence and achieving potential,
- dealing with phobias, compulsions, emotional problems, sleep problems, inhibitions, worries,
- reducing stress, tension and blood pressure
- alleviating medical conditions such as stomach problems, IBS, gynaecological problems, skin problems, pain control, minor surgery, dentistry, arthritic pains, and some sexual problems...
It certainly seems worth a try if you’ve ‘tried everything’. With careful research and selection of a reputable hypnotherapist, it seems you have little to lose and plenty to gain. For more information see also the UK Hypnosis Directory.
Help is not a four-letter word - why doing it all is doing you in by Peggy Collins, with Deborah Severance, published by McGraw Hill, 2007
One of the most common values of in my primers based on our upbringing is independence, an admirable trait which makes us believe that we can and should juggle everything, always do a great job, be responsible for all and everything (and everyone) connected to us, and not ask others for help. Sounds highly admirable doesn’t it, so where’s the problem? The difficulty is that taken to extremes we can find ourselves stressed out, overwhelmed and simply incapable of seeking assistance. We can end up suffering from Self-Sufficiency Syndrome, possibly heading for serious burnout.
This groundbreaking and highly practical new book by expert Peggy Collins (herself a reformed self-sufficient) shows you how to recognise the signs, ease the demands you put on yourself and ask for help. The payoff is that you can start enjoying your work, your family and your life without the burden of feeling that if you don’t do it, it won’t be done right. We recommend you read it to help modify your own behaviour or to better understand and deal with family, friends or colleagues who may be close to the edge.