February 2007: <<< back to Downloads
In this issue:
A couple of weeks ago, the Daily Mail published an interview with writer Nora Ephron (author of Heartburn and When Harry met Sally). She was quoted as saying: “Once you are 65 you realise that life is too short. I made a vow about people I won’t see, work I don’t really want to do, bad restaurants I won’t eat in. I want to be able to say, ‘If yesterday was the last day of my life, did I throw it away?’”
Her sentiments echoed what in my prime is really all about. Most of us start to realise much earlier than 65 that life is too short, but unfortunately many of us don’t do nearly enough about making sure we are working towards living the lives we really want and becoming the people we’ve always wanted to be. Often it’s because making changes usually involves taking risks, stepping outside our comfort zone, and possibly causing some disquiet to family, friends and colleagues who will have to start seeing us in a somewhat different light.
We believe that the very best time in your life is right now and through our website, fact sheets and this newsletter, we want to encourage you to push the boundaries, make the most of every bit of the huge amount of potential you still have within you, and maximise your happiness, satisfaction and sense of fulfilment. Reflecting this, you’ll find that this month’s articles all touch on various aspects of taking risks. We hope you find them useful and interesting. Be brave!
It is best to love wisely, no doubt; but to love foolishly is better than not to be able to love at all.
~ William Thackeray
So, St Valentine’s Day has come and gone again. If you have a partner, you probably celebrated the day in your usual fashion – whether low-key or lavish. However, if you’re one of the UK’s millions of over 50s singletons, you may have found that it reminded you yet again of just how unsatisfactory some aspects of being on your own can be. Of course, the single state has much to recommend it and the choice is up to you, but if you did find you experienced a few pangs of sadness, longing, or envy, perhaps it’s time you did something about it and took some steps to find a partner.
Okay, sounds simple. But where? No doubt you’ve surveyed the immediate range of possibilities – friends, social acquaintances and existing work colleagues and contacts. And without being judgemental, it’s probably true to say that hanging round bars or living it up in clubs is probably best left to the kids. But although back in our youth that more or less represented all the options for meeting someone, these days there are a huge number of other options – dating agencies, dinner clubs, singles holidays, speed dating and of course, a myriad of print, telephone and on-line opportunities.
All of them have their place and all have been genuinely successful for someone, somewhere along the line. So, if you’re still just thinking about it, why not get the ball rolling by reading our new fact sheet Realistic Relationships, then set yourself a specific goal to have a go. By next St Valentine’s, you could have a whole new relationship and even a whole new life.
By the way, our favourite on-line encylopaedia, Wikihow has plenty to say about the subject, albeit in a fairly American style. For example, see http://www.wikihow.com/Start-a-Conversation-With-Someone-on-the-Train%2C-Bus-or-Subway. Pictures too – great stuff!
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice? - George Carlin, US comedian
As our reputation grows as a leading information portal for the over 50s, we increasingly receive press releases and messages of relevance for our readers and site visitors and where they’re appropriate and significant we try to pass them on to you. For example, this one from the Tick Alert press office is genuine and certainly worth bearing in mind if you’re planning to travel to Europe this summer:
“Holidaymakers over 50 have been singled out by world experts as the main age group at risk from a potentially life-threatening tick disease when travelling in Europe this summer. Leading scientists have confirmed that Tick Borne Encephalitis (TBE), which can lead to meningitis and in serious cases result in paralysis and death, is now endemic in 27 countries across mainland Europe, an increase of 11 on 2006.
According to Professor Michael Kunze, of the Medical University Vienna, Austria and a leading expert in the prevention of TBE, the increasingly active lifestyle of people reaching middle age, a group he calls “Golden Agers”, means they are more likely to spend leisure time in the great outdoors in areas where the disease is endemic.” Click here to read more
Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so. - Douglas Adams
Are you between 50 and 65 and keen to get back to work and prove that old doesn’t mean past it? Are you feeling really brave and up for it? If so, you could be just right for “Back in Business” (working title), a new series for BBC2 primetime produced by Twenty Twenty Television, one of the UK’s leading production companies responsible for such programmes as The Choir, That’ll Teach ‘em, Wakey Wakey Campers and the Emmy award winning Brat Camp.
The new four part series will be looking at 50-65 year olds who want to return to work and young people who are new to the game. They will fight it out for a month in an exciting leading company within their industry – at the end of which only one person will win and viewers will see whether age and experience counts for more than youthful enthusiasm or vice versa. Click here to read more
You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you – Dale Carnegie
According to government statistics the over 50s represent the fastest growing sector for business start-ups and self-employment. It makes sense in many ways and can represent a great option for people who want to keep working but also want to increase their flexibility, freedom and sense of purpose in respect of what they do.
However, although setting up in business can be fairly straightforward for most, the big question that nearly everyone then has to face is, Where are my customers going to come from? Depending on your type of business, they may come through advertising, PR, your website, word-of-mouth, or as a result of many other marketing activities – all of which tend to be both costly and time-consuming. What most people overlook is the potential of the simplest and most cost-effective business generator of all – networking.
Okay, so you’ve tried it before and you’re no good at it, or you tried it before and it didn’t work, or you simply wouldn’t know where to start? If you have these or any other excuses, put them aside, read our new fact sheet One step away from a goldmine and see if it isn’t time to have a go.
I don't jog. It makes the ice jump right out of my glass. – anon
Exercise, as we are always being told, is the key to keeping fit and healthy and as spring is nearly here, the ‘bad weather stops play’ excuse is just about to run its course. If you’re a golfer or tennis player or have always fancied taking up or resuming these sports, you might be interested in the over 50’s midweek residential coaching breaks being run by Windmill Hill, which promotes itself as ‘the UK's premier residential Tennis and Golf Coaching Academy’.
Based in an impressive Georgian mansion in East Sussex it has a good range of tennis and golf facilities together with a team of experienced coaching professionals, providing a relaxed and highly enjoyable setting for coaching holidays the whole year round. They cater for players of all ages and abilities from absolute beginners to experienced competitors and all their packages are fully inclusive of accommodation, breakfast, lunch, dinner and group coaching. From personal experience we can recommend it but, as ever, we encourage you to do your own research. Click here for their website.
Unhelpful statistic of the month?
If you care about living longer and are willing to sacrifice something in terms of quality, here’s a little tip – try prison.
According to the USA Justice Department’s Bureau of Justice Statistics the death rate in prisons is lower than that in the adult population generally, by about 19 percent. And most prison deaths are from natural causes. Regular balanced meals, warm surroundings and an absence of drink-drivers may be part of the answer! Just a thought - but don’t explore the idea or the flaws in the logic too carefully.
Simply Irresistible: The Psychology of Seduction - How to Catch and Keep Your Perfect Partner by Dr Raj Persaud (Bantam Press, Jan 2007).
In line with our lead article, this book is a useful guide for anyone seeking to understand more about attraction and what underlies successful relationships. Raj Persaud is a consultant psychiatrist who is often on TV providing easy to understand explanations for complex human behaviour and emotions. In this illuminating follow-up to his acclaimed bestseller, The Motivated Mind, he draws on the very latest research to show not only how to increase your attractiveness generally, but how to become absolutely irresistible to anyone and to understand how and why they might be attracted to you.
Although this guide is written for all ages, it’s style and content - frank, witty and packed with useful questionnaires and invaluable advice, make it a useful and thought-provoking guide for in my primers on how to catch - and keep - your perfect partner. (Or, if you already have one, perhaps a useful gift for single sons or daughters?).