When we’re young we tend to think that when we’re 50 we’ll know it all. We fully expect we’ll be successful, wise, confident, accomplished, likeable and fun-loving people with everything going for us, most of our ambitions achieved and very little about our lives that’s wrong. But in 2007 many are finding it’s not like that. In fact, reflecting the angst of the first generation of ‘teenagers’ that they started out as in the 1950s and 60s, many over 50s are stressed, striving, and still wondering when, if ever, they’re going to ’get there’.

Today in the UK the 13 million or so who are between 50 and 70 have never had it so good. Sandwiched between middle and old-age, they’re a rapidly growing, vibrant generation whose attitudes, aspirations and interests are a million miles away from those of the truly elderly. This is the generation with the greatest amount of disposable wealth (albeit unevenly distributed), a hugely extended life expectancy, and a massive amount of freedom. So, if the media and marketing messages are to be believed, all over 50s are pushing the boundaries, being adventurous and living life to the full.

But things aren’t as straightforwardly rosy as they seem. A huge proportion of over 50s are rocketing into retirement with insufficient funds to sustain them. Even those with good pensions who seem to have ‘made it’ can find that this is a time when things start to turn sour. Questions of meaning and mortality start to sneak in. Boredom with the status quo, including jobs and relationships, combines with uncertainty about what to do next. The future stretches ahead. Suddenly words like ‘set in your ways’ and ‘past it’ seem a bit too close to home. It all adds up to a state of restlessness and disquiet that they never expected to feel.

If you’re in your prime and you don’t feel as fantastic as you should – particularly when you look at all those other baby boomers who are ‘doing it for themselves’, trekking round the world or starting new relationships, it can be difficult to know what to do. It’s not always easy to create new goals. Even if we think we know what we want, how do we judge whether what we aspire to is truly admirable or (perish the thought) somewhat embarrassing? What if we end up feeling foolish rather than fantastic? How do we make wholesale changes without damaging or discarding others? Where do we draw the line when for years we’ve been used to doing the same things in the same ways with the same outcomes? Where do we start?

Help is at hand in the form of a new book written by two people who are passionate about the benefits and opportunities associated with the 50 plus age group and enthusiastic about being over 50 themselves. Dianne Bown-Wilson and Richard Ciechan are coaches, writers and business consultants who, in 2006 looked around them at what it meant to be over 50 and decided to establish an organisation to ‘help mature people rethink their lives’.

Reflecting on the development of their company in my prime, which now has a flourishing website and consultancy business advising companies about employing older workers and providing pre-retirement planning, Dianne comments:

“Being over 50 represents a broad spectrum of experience. At one end there are those who are satisfied and happy and are looking for little more. At the other, there are those who are economically underprivileged and whose main concerns are focused around their health, wealth and fundamental well-being. In the middle, there’s a big group who are comparatively successful but find themselves wondering ‘Is that all there is?’ There’s a realisation that if we just accept that the best is behind us, then the future really isn’t very bright.”

“We decided to write Primetastic! – 50 tips for life when you’re over 50 as a simple self-help guide for likeminded over 50s to use as a starting point for change. It represents a distillation of 50 of the most common issues we come across. It’s no exaggeration to say we could have written volumes but we decided it would be more useful to reduce the information to short, practical tips, which people could dip into, think about and act upon in whichever ways would be meaningful for them. And it seems to have worked. People who’ve read it tell us they like its ‘back to basics’ simplicity – it even looks like a journal or workbook.”

“The tips relate to topics of universal importance in everyone’s’ lives. Health, finance, relationships, learning and development, communication, a sense of self, having fun. Whatever the issue, the messages are consistent: manage the situation, let go of the past and deal with the here and now, treat yourself and others kindly, maintain a balance between work, relationships and your own needs, plan and think things through, and see yourself as others see you. It’s all real back to basics stuff, but therein lies its power. “

“Of course, the ways people choose to act upon these tips will be totally unique to them. From our website we know there are huge numbers of over 50s out there doing massively impressive things like starting businesses or charities, resuming their education, or moving abroad. But for some of us that isn’t appropriate – it doesn’t represent what we want or need. Perhaps we just want to find a way to feel a bit more positive about ourselves, more optimistic about the future, or to worry less and sleep better. These things are just as important, and the starting point is the same. Take some time to really think about what you want and determine to make some changes.”

“At this age, we all know deep down what we need to do and be, but somehow, in some areas, we just get into bad habits. By reminding ourselves of those things we’ve always known but maybe have overlooked or forgotten, we can focus on seeing ourselves as others see us now – not as we were. We can determine to find the courage, confidence and self-belief to become the best we can be. And for all of us that has to be not just ‘good for our age’, but Primetastic!”

[Published in The Oxford Times' Time of Your Life magazine August 2007]